“Please don’t let go of me I need you” “I miss you.” “I want things to go back to normal.” “I miss my best friend” ” But I love you…”
I watched my best friend give me a hug and walk into her house on the night everything changed. (I’m not ready to talk about that yet. But, The Lord is changing my heart to get closer to that every day.) I clung to her emotionally like glue. Not sure what I would do if she became nonexistent in my life. I couldn’t imagine it and I would fight to the death to keep her as wound up in my life as I could. I would not go down without a fight. “God I don’t understand! Why do you want me to feel so alone”
That night started such a change. I didn’t know then but God was doing what he does best. Controlling our lives so we are exactly where we need to be. Never did I think hearing “I’m over it” wouldn’t bother me at all. I always thought hearing those words would shatter my 1000x broken heart even more. But it didn’t. Because in the months between that night and hearing those words God did some incredible things.
“You used to say you had 2 best friends now you don’t talk to either of us” ” God works in mysterious ways” ” I never would have been able to let go without God” “everything happened for a reason”
I heard my perspective change as the words popped out of my mouth. I didn’t type them but they sure made themselves known. God had taken a cry and plea for help and did what he needed to. He went as far as helping open my heart to fully KNOW him and take him into my life. I even got baptized!! Back then I was searching for something. I thought my husband didn’t give it to me, I thought I needed the emotional connection with my best friend, and I was still longing. He fixed everything I was supposed to have and let the rest slip out of my life to help make ways for bigger and better things to arrive. He changed my perspective on life. I no longer need to look to others to fill the longings of my heart. He was healing in the pain and shelter into storm. He restored my soul. “Amazing grace how sweet the sound! It covers every part of me. My soul is silent I am found!”